Will my family still be together after death even if one falls away from the Church?
Question
Gramps,
If you are sealed to your family, but then one of your family falls away from the Church, will you all be together or will everyone be together but the fallen soul after death? Thanks.
McKay
Answer
Dear McKay,
You bring up an interesting question that many people wonder about. We live in a world where everyone has agency, and sometimes family members of righteous Church members use this agency and choose not to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ at least for a time. We have seen this repeatedly in the scriptures, with great prophets such as Abraham and Lehi who had family members rebel against the teachings of Christ.
So, is there any comfort to be had in such a situation, where a family member is not following the gospel? Yes!
President James E. Faust gave a very comforting talk in 2003 called “Dear Are the Sheep that have Wandered.” In this talk, President Faust said,
“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared – and he never taught a more comforting doctrine – that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return.”
Faust then notes that the unrepentant family members “will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain.” Faust also notes that, nevertheless, “Mercy will not rob justice, and the sealing power of faithful parents will only claim wayward children upon the condition of their repentance and Christ’s Atonement. Repentant wayward children will enjoy salvation and all the blessings that go with it, but exaltation is so much more. It must be fully earned. The question as to who will be exalted must be left to the Lord in his mercy.” President Faust concludes by stating that “Perhaps in this life we are not given to fully understand how enduring the sealing cords of righteous parents are to their children. it may very well be that there are more helpful sources at work than we know. I believe there is a strong familial pull as the influence of beloved ancestors continues with us from the other side of the veil.”
So, based off of these quotations from President Faust (and there are many similar talks addressing this subject as well), it is evident that the unrepentant will have to eventually face consequences for their actions and may even risk not being exalted. At the same time, there is a real and tangible binding power in being sealed, which really does act to keep families together forever, including wayward children. The promises in Joseph Smith’s teachings on this subject are real, even if we do not understand how wayward family members are saved by the sealing right now.
As a final thought, I want to close with the words of President Henry B. Eyring, made in a First Presidency message called “The Hope of Eternal Family Love“. President Eyring stated,
“For some, that eternal joy may seem a faint or even a fading hope. Parents, children, brothers, and sisters may have made choices that seem to disqualify them from eternal life . . . A prophet of God once offered me counsel that gives me peace. I was worried that the choices of others might make it impossible for our family to be together forever. He said, “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.”
Gramps
This says family that are sealed together. What about children that aren’t sealed to parents? Parents that are sealed after their children are grown? Is there still a chance for an eternal family? I can’t bare to think of eternity without my children.
I think this is a very good question. This might be where proxy baptisms for the dead come into play. We need to remember that a LOT of temple work will be done during the millennium and the dead will have a chance to guide the living in that endeavor during that time. The Lord will make sure that all will have the opportunity, whether in this life or the next, to receive the ordinances and blessings of the Gospel. No one will be left out unless it is by their own choosing.
I’m worried sick about my darling daughter (age 30) and her two precious daughters, my only grandchildren (age 5 and 18 months). They were killed on Nov 17, 2016 by my son-in-law (her husband the childrens father). There was never any domestic abuse; in fact, up until that tragic, fateful day, he was always loving, kind and gentle. A wonderful husband and father. They adored him. He shot them while they were sleeping, then shot himself. They were an active LDS family, very beloved by all. Now my son in law is responsible for 4 murders. I do not know what will happen to him as only the Lord can judge him. But what about my daughter? The sealing power of her babies still holds, correct? As in THEY, those 3, is still and always will be an eternal family? Will she be given another husband, and if so, will her children be sealed to the new husband, meaning they have a new father? On top of my overwhelming and excruciating daily grief, these questions worry and haunt me…if someone could please help me with this, I would be very grateful. Thank you.
This states hope for families they are sealed. What about families that are raised in the church, the kids grow and move away choosing a life away from the church. Then the parents are sealed in the temple. Do those parents have any hope of an eternal family?
Actually the quote “The Prophet Joseph Smith declared … ” is originally a statement made by Elder Orson F. Whitney (1855–1906) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in 1929. I recommend that you read the talk “Faithful Parents and Wayward Children: Sustaining Hope While Overcoming Misunderstanding” given by Elder David A. Bednar (Liahona March 2014 https://www.lds.org/liahona/2014/03/faithful-parents-and-wayward-children-sustaining-hope-while-overcoming-misunderstanding?lang=eng#footnote4-10983_000_012).
“Either in this life or the life to come, they WILL return.”
We just don’t know enough about eternity. What does it mean that they “will return”? Will we be exalted and they “only” saved? What does that mean? Nobody on this earth seems to know a lot about eternity, maybe even if God revealed more knowledge about it to us we would not be able to understand or bear it. But we have those questions, They come to our minds, And it can be quite frustrating to get answers like the quote from Elder Eyring “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the
celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful
than you can imagine.” If someone is told that his question is actually nothing he should worry about that doesn’t seem to be very helpful. It might even appear rude and impolite and turn the person away, We might feel like the captain who went to see the prophet to be healed of his disease and who was very upset when the prophet didn’t even come out to greet him, but instead just sent his servant to tell him what to do. it is our choice to listen and do or to not do – with the corresponding results. So let us be humble and diligent, even though we do not get all the answers to those things that trouble our hearts and minds.
And let us be diligent in enquiring of the Lord. For he sent us “the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” John 14:26. Asking in faith we can and will get answers. The comforter WILL comfort us.
“Hope on,
trust on, till you see the salvation of God.”
When a prophet tells us that if we have family prayer and family home evening that our children will come back before it is too late, I take that as a promise. Both a promise and a great comfort. It is never to late to do both of those things just because the children have left home. I do not know if it is a promise if they have already left home but at the very least it is a great comfort. Something we can do besides worrying about it. Action, a verb. A prior commitment to https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f8bc8cc959690c93f3854be9e2c2e41faabbfa3fb4368b63b222446cf8dc9c20.jpg
Yes, I have since been reassured repeatedly that SHE and her babies will definitely be together; they are innocent and did no wrong. The children are bound for the Celestial Kingdom and I believe my daughter is as well, as she had her feet firmly planted on the gospel ground. HE is the only one that is in deep, deep sin here and only the Lord will judge where he will go, more than likely the Telestial Kingdom, but again, it’s up to the Lord. But my daughter and my granddaughters are all set. It is those of us left behind who are heartbroken and our lives shattered forever.
Without knowing what was going on in his heart and mind and why your son-in-law did what he did, none of us on this earth can judge him. Only our Father in Heaven can do so because only He knows the full truth. It could be that he had some type of mental break down or an illness that was long hidden. All we can do is trust that God will make all things right and that there are truly no tears in Heaven. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you are able to find peace and comfort somehow. I cannot even imagine how shattered your life must be right now. You have my deepest sympathies.