What will an unsealed family look like in the afterlife?
Question
Hi Gramps!
On my mission, I taught 2 girls who had just been baptized. As we discussed the temple, they asked a question that I haven’t been able to answer satisfactorily. They were the only members in their family, and wondered what their family will be like, because they’re not sealed to them. Will they still recognize each other, still love each other? If so, what’s the point of sealing? We could answer the “point of sealing”, but what will an unsealed family be like?
Thanks!
Taylor
Answer
Hi Taylor,
Thank you for your question. You bring up a common fear that many members in the Church experience: “what will my family be like if some fall short of the Celestial Kingdom?”
Before answering this question, I would like to point out that you just never know who is going to accept the gospel, whether in this life or the next. Between missionary work and temple work for the dead, everyone will have a fair chance to accept the gospel, and many, many people will sooner or later accept it and be saved in the Celestial Kingdom. Don’t give up hope just because it has not happened yet! You may be the person who brings nonmember family to the gospel! See, e.g., Amy Veer, Waiting for an Eternal Family, Ensign, June 2017..
That said, many members still wonder about what will happen if someone in their family falls short. In his First Presidency Message “The Hope of Eternal Family Love”, President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency, revealed that he has experienced this fear himself! President Eyring explained,
“We have all felt the hope that someday we could feel again the warm affection of that family member we loved so much and now ache to embrace again . . . For some, that eternal joy may seem a faint or even a fading hope. Parents, children, brothers, and sisters may have made choices that seem to disqualify them from eternal life. You may even wonder whether you have yet been qualified through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”
Eyring continued,
“A prophet of God once offered me counsel that gives me peace. I was worried that the choices of others might make it impossible for our family to be together forever. He said, ‘You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.'” See Henry B. Eyring, The Hope of Eternal Family Love, First Presidency Message Aug. 2016.
One point I’d like to make is the idea that unsealed family members may not love/recognize each other in the hereafter–is absolutely without basis in scripture or the teachings of the Church. So, to answer your question directly, what will an unsealed family be like? There may not be a lot of specific details revealed on this topic, but according to President Eyring, if you live worthily of the Celestial Kingdom, the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine. So have some faith, and some hope that things will work out well in the end if you live righteously!
Gramps
I’ve left the church and the family that I was sealed to I am no longer a member of, I had a different family that I was adopted into who were not members of any faith. How do I insure that I’m not in the sealed family’s eternal family, I want nothing to do with them in this life or the next
I had this type of situation develop in my own life. I didn’t really voice this concern to others because i was concerned it may sound like whining or wanting to escape my real family when I do hope to help them. It’d been growing in my mind for several years. But as time progressed my family members kept getting farther apart the harder I’d try to be close to them. They also got to be more close minded. And the neglect kept growing. When I would try to talk to my siblings on the phone they began cutting the phone calls short to the point of barely even saying hello, and not allowing for in person visits.
One day I had a dream that Heavenly Father allowed a family to adopt me. This was a very real feeling with very clear imagery in the dream and clear meaning with my mind feeling very alert and awake, not sluggish. I don’t know if the couple in the dream that adopted me is in fact the one couple that will really adopt me or if it was meant to show me ‘it will be someone like them in traits’. I think it could be either based on the imagery at this time. I’m a bit hopeful about how it will unfold.
Then something happened and I worried about it a bit more because it seemed that the ones I thought would adopt me after this life seemed aloof. I was worried at one point that I’d offended them somehow accidentally.
Then I had a second dream where another different family adopted me that I knew. I don’t know if it will be this particular family or if it just means someone like that them.
I think the two different dreams were meant to comfort me that even if one of them decides that they won’t that it will still come to pass in a way that I deserve based on my worthiness, faith, and repentance; not based on materialism. And part of that thought is that Heavenly Father has allowed for options and showed me he’s prepared options for me, in case people decide to use their agency unwisely to leave me out of the picture, which is what my original family has decided to do.
I commented on this now because I think there are a lot of people like me and I wanted to do so anonymously. The advent of materialism and obsession with wealth in LDS culture has created a whole culture of leaving people out who aren’t wealthy for one reason or another when there isn’t anything wrong with those people at all! In some cases gossip has destroyed any chance of people in some wards building friendships based on things that people have heard which have zero percent basis on fact.
But here on an LDS chat board; this is also a safe place where I can comment anonymously to help people looking for truth like me. After you accept baptism and the gift of the holy ghost you will keep searching for truths. The reason is searching for truths is how you get to the future Heavenly Father has planned for you.
I’m sure that adoption is very inspired and true principal. Baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost are in fact principles of adoption into the family of Christ. Knowing that will help people who are faithful who don’t have families realize that there are good things in their future for all faithful latter day saints. There’s a plan for those incomplete and fractured families to have things fixed and repaired! Isn’t that wonderful? Some of those families will get things worked out but for the ones with a lot of damage things can work out too in other ways! There’s a plan that works for each person individually!
It sounds like you’ve had some hard times in life. I’m sorry for your pain. Sometimes it is hard to understand why bad things happen to good people. I think it’s important to know that while the gospel of Jesus Chris is perfect, the people trying to live it are not. We can’t say a whole church is wrong because of bad choices by imperfect people. It is widely accepted that alcohol can damage your liver, but how many people know that and drink anyway?! Similarly, just because we have knowledge, doesn’t mean we dont make mistakes. I am happy to hear you have found love and healing in your life. I hope you find what you are looking for. I’m sorry I don’t have any real insight on your question. Best of luck!
-Emily
Out of my sibling and parents, only 2 of us remained believing in the gospel. It’s takes faith and action (works). The way I see it for myself is that I don’t make up the commandments, what is required of me. God says how it goes, what he requires for me to live with Him again and if I do it, I can become like Him and abide in the Celestial Kingdom. If not, I can’t. I don’t think too much about this because it’s not a good thought, but should my father be found worthy (and, of course, through grace) to become exalted, he will eventually have another wife whom I will be sealed to. It’s not willy-nilly. Whether I’ll have a relationship of any kind with my mother and siblings, I don’t know. I haven’t searched gospel doctrine for an answer. Safe to say, your abusers will not be exalted unless there is heavy repenting which would involve significant apologies and restitution to you (not that I see how that can be given). You will not be with people you despise. It’s contrary to where we are attaining to go.