Should the sealing to my ex wife be canceled?
Question
Gramps,
I was previously sealed to my ex-wife. I have remarried and am also sealed to my current wife. I am in the process of trying to get my sealing cancelled to my ex-wife. I have heard different points of view that I should let the sealing alone and not try for the sealing cancellation, and the other view is to go ahead and try. My ex-wife has been excommunicated and has had her name removed from the church. But, I have to assume that she will some day repent and return to the church and have all her temple blessings restored to her. My question is, if she repents and is worthy of all blessings, then what would it matter if our sealing is cancelled? Have not all been promised that if they are worthy, that all blessings will be theirs? That is the premise that I am going on to go ahead to get the sealing cancelled–that she will not lose out on all blessings. Am I missing something here?
Cliff
Answer
Cliff,
First ask yourself why you want to cancel the sealing? Is it because you or your current spouse feel that if your ex were to fully repent that she would seek to reclaim you as her husband? More importantly that the Lord would back such a claim to the point you would be forced or otherwise compelled to take her again as your wife?
Take a moment to think about that… and realize how contrary the idea of the Lord forcing anyone to be together is to everything we have been taught. That means the only way you and your ex will be together again is if she repents and the two of you reconcile and decide to try being married again. You choosing to remarry her seems very unlikely to me from your letter. You can forgive her without choosing to marry her again.
Now to your question should you cancel the sealing. You also have your current spouse and marriage to work on. You need to take what ever steps you need to in order to strengthen your current marriage. If in spite of my (and others) assurances, the prior sealing is causing issues in your marriage then work to get it cancelled. If however, you can put the concerns that drive you to consider cancelling to rest, then let it be.
Only you can know which path is right for you. Pray about it, ponder it. If your answer is to cancel then don’t feel guilty about it. Leave your ex in the Lord’s capable hands.
Gramps
It is my understanding that the 1st sealing should have been cancelled before being sealed to the second. You cannot be sealed to two living women at the same time. Everyone I know has had to get the sealing of the first released before they can be sealed to another.
I don’t believe that is entirely accurate. My understanding is that a man can be sealed to two living women but a woman can’t be sealed to two living men. I do believe that for a man to be sealed to a second woman that a sealing clearance has to be done. I’m sure someone will correct me if I am wrong.
Why does a man even bother getting ANY sealing canceled if A) the conduct of their former spouse makes them unworthy of being in the Celestial Kingdom, and B) It would be against our desire to be with them again anyway? What’s the point?