How can I overcome my fear to speak to my Bishop to repent?
Question
Gramps,
I have been a faithful member of the church my whole life. I served a mission which was the best thing that ever happened to me and increased my testimony of the Savior. However when I got home from my mission I met a beautiful girl and was eventually sealed in the temple to her. The problem is that before our wedding she and I broke the law of chastity, I was too scared to talk to my bishop or anyone else. I thought I would be excommunicated so fearing man more than God i was sealed to her in the temple with a horrible feeling of not being worthy to be there.. Now that some time has passed by the sin still haunts me. If I go and confess to my bishop will I still be excommunicated? That would be my biggest fear.
A Scared Member
Answer
Scared,
It is understandable that you are afraid. It is very possible that you might be excommunicated after you confess, and if not excommunicated then face some other form of Church discipline. However nothing the Church can do to you can match the pains of an unrepentant soul. The pains which you are currently feeling are in part because you know that you are not worthy.
You have a choice to make. You can continue to feel the way you feel and know that you are unworthy and not doing anything to change that. Or you can take the steps needed to repent and come out from under that horrible burden.
The choice is yours but if I might be so bold as to promise you that as you repent of your sins and confess to your Bishop, you will feel the burden of your sins begin to lift almost immediately. You will still have a long path to go as you follow your leader’s council. His council will be to help you draw nearer to Christ, and you can take comfort that for the first time since you transgressed you are headed in the right direction.
Gramps
In my own life with similar issues with the law of chastity and confession with the bishop. It was like with a self afflicted gunshot wound in a country that has outlawed guns. I knew that going to the hospital I was going to get into trouble for owning and operating a gun but if I did not go I would possibly die. Sexual sin and the failure to repent was very similar to me. I could not heal and could not progress without seeing my bishop and repenting. Along with the repentance comes some punishment but you know it is hard to feel like it is punishment when I feel God’s arms wrapped around me and knowing that He is holding me and carrying me through the healing process. And really any “punishment” that might come out of confession is really just part of the healing process that your soul needs to go through.
Well that has been my experience.