Must I be sealed to my deceased spouse to obtain the Celestial Kingdom?
Question
Dear Gramps.
I have been told that I must be sealed to my non LDS husband who was anti the church for me to obtain the celestial Kingdom. Is this true? I have done his work except for the sealing.
June
Answer
June,
The ordinance of sealing is the only ordinance that involves a third person which from time to time make people confused on what is really going on. In other ordinances (like baptism) it is between us and the Lord and we alone live up to the covenants or fail to live up to them. We then must deal with the consequences of our choices and actions. We alone make the choice to even enter into the covenant.
With sealing we add a spouse.. A spouse clearly has an impact on our lives and our ability to enter into and keep a sealing ordinance and live those covenants. Yet it does not change the fundamental fact that all gospel covenants are between us and the Lord. We are responsible for seeking out and living the ordinances and covenants of God as best as we can given our circumstances.
When your husband was alive he was ineligible for the temple ordinance, and since you were required to have your spouse present, receiving the sealing ordinance fell in to the category of things you could not do. The best you could to was to practice long suffering, kindness as you worked with your husband to try to bring him to Christ.
Then he passed on. You had no trouble having all the other ordinances done on his behalf, knowing that they would only be effective if he had a change of heart and accepted them. Why should you think the sealing ordinance is any less important for him to have? For you to have?
Perhaps at some level you are afraid that he will not change? (You are in a better position to judge that then I) Perhaps you feel that if you seal yourself to your deceased husband and he does not change you will also be denied? If those are your concerns then I would extort you to exercise your faith in Christ’s promises more fully. Christ will not deny anyone who works and acts in full faith in following his commandments any blessing. When it comes to sealing when one spouse is not worthy, Christ will make it right for the other spouse.
Your situation seems quite clear. You need to seek out the ordinance of sealing for your own blessings and you need to do the work for your departed husband. Logically the two things answer each other (which is why people are telling you what they are), but the Lord is the one you should be seeking for guidance and ultimately you will need to trust the Lord to take care of the things you have no control over.
Gramps
I think Gramps has some very good points here in explaining doctrine. I have a family member who was sealed in the temple, and later divorced. She has shared with me some of her understanding of how her temple covenants still impact her even though her marriage has legally been dissolved. That’s a different issue of course, but it is similar in that it is a covenant relationship involving an additional party that is current not the ideal. In this case I think it is more appropriate for this sister to counsel with her priesthood leaders regarding what steps she should take. Have those church leaders who hold the keys and interpret doctrine issued general guidelines for someone in this sister’s position? This is a very intimate issue we are dealing with here (of course it was her decision to take it to the internet). She can also ask God if there is another man she should search for to be an eternal companion.
In the August 2016 Ensign, President Eyring gave an excellent talk that touched on this subject and revealed an aspect to the doctrine of eternal families I had not heard expressed in this manner. In a slightly different context, but still applicable, he stated:
“For some, that eternal joy may seem a faint or even a fading hope. Parents, [spouses], children, brothers, and sisters may have made choices that seem to disqualify them from eternal life. You may even wonder whether you have yet been qualified through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
“A prophet of God once offered me counsel that gives me peace. I was worried that the choices of others might make it impossible for our family to be together forever. He said, ‘You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.’ ”
My own thought on your situation is that you should be sealed to your deceased spouse unless you feel a strong spiritual prompting to not be sealed to him. Perhaps the Lord is preparing someone else that you could be sealed to in the future. But if you don’t feel that prompting to not be sealed to your deceased husband, be sealed to him. You will have complied with the ordinance required for exaltation. Following that sealing, apply the doctrine set forth by President Eyring, quoted above. Live worthy of the celestial kingdom, “and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.”
I wish you well with your decision!!