What is your view of single sisters adopting?
Question
Gramps,
What is your view of single sisters adopting children and rearing them in the gospel who might not have had a chance otherwise? This would be for those women who never had the chance of a temple sealing.
Amy
Answer
Amy,
Truly my heart has compassion for women, especially women of our faith, who have not yet married and are single and desire the opportunity to become a mother. What a truly good desire which comes with its own heartaches and pains. In this desire I would recommend they read this and exercise faith in God’s will for them (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and (Proclamation):
“Some women are unable to bear children. Childless women often fulfill the role of mother by adopting children or by taking in foster children. Women who are unable to have children and single women can find fulfillment by working with children in a variety of ways or by doing other things whereby they can give of themselves in service to others. Women who do such work can find joy in it and bring happiness and wholesome influence into the lives of children, especially those who have been denied a mother’s love.
“President Brigham Young comforted those childless women who had been faithful to their temple covenants, saying:
“Many of the sisters grieve because they are not blessed with offspring. You will see the time when you will have millions of children around you. If you are faithful to your covenants, you will be mothers of nations. … Be faithful, and if you are not blest with children in this time, you will be hereafter” (in Deseret News [Weekly], 28 Nov. 1860, 306).”
“Some women may not marry until later in life. Some may remain single throughout their mortal lives if they are unable to find a worthy companion. Such women are promised worthy husbands and children in the life after death. No blessing available on earth will be denied them. Lesson 14: The Latter-day Saint Woman
“President Harold B. Lee said:
“You young women advancing in years who have not yet accepted a proposal of marriage, if you make yourselves worthy and ready to go to the house of the Lord and have faith in this sacred principle of celestial marriage for eternity, even though the privilege of marriage does not come to you now in mortality, the Lord will reward you in due time and no blessing will be denied you. You are not under obligation to accept a proposal from someone unworthy of you for fear you will fail [to receive] of your blessings” (Ye Are the Light of the World [1974], 308).”
“Every woman in this Church has great worth. If we live faithfully, we will be blessed someday with the privilege of being a companion, helpmeet, and mother. Whether this opportunity comes early or late in life or in the hereafter, we can fill our lives by serving others and fulfilling our roles as Latter-day Saint women.” Lesson 14: The Latter-day Saint Woman
My view, children are entitled to birth or adoption to a mother and father on this earth as specified within “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”
Gramps
It is not possible that children are always able to have both parents… as entitled as you think they might be. And even in this ‘ideal’ situation, children are often abused and neglected. There are a great number of children who have special needs and are discarded because it is ‘too hard’ and often they are thrown into situations which give them absolutely no quality of life. Quality is what is important. I do not understand why single sisters, who have all their love in the world to give, can’t provide a loving, caring, nurturing home for those that need it so much.
I knew a single woman–one who had never married adopt two teen-aged daughters. This I believe was very nice as there are not a lot of couples lined up to adopt teenagers.
How about adopting out as a grandparent? A gentleman we knew of lost his wife of more than fifty years on Christmas eve. Within a day or two my wife and daughters had ‘adopted’ him. We lived 800 miles from our closest set of grandparents. We got to see both sets of grandparents once a year, sometimes twice if they came to see us. It was a yearly trip of almost 3000 miles and more fifty hours of driving if under the very best of conditions. Family vacations were all I have ever known or wanted. Grandpa was a valuable addition to our young family, no substitute for existing family but both near and dear to us. Yes we were undoubtedly a blessing to him but he was a much greater blessing to us.
Eventually at least one other family ‘adopted’ grandpa. A remarkable man. Considering how valuable he was to us maybe I need to adopt out myself. Have 13 adorable grandchildren and another on the way but children are such a positive way to spend time. It may not be as much as you want but you might find it to be much more than you expect.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn’t grow under my heart,
But in it.
Gramps. I fully support the procclimation. Gramps can you visualize rows, and rows of children in metal cribs. 3 to a bed, sitting in there hungry all day? No toys, little food? I think the Lord loves these children and many a single and married mother has been blessed DEEPLY by having the privilege to adopt a child languishing in an orphanage setting. I find it hard to believe that a loving Heavenly Father would rather a child suffer a life with no family, no medical care, no love than to be adopted by a single mother. Could this council be from years ago before international adoption was as common as it now?
These millions of children around me–will they be adopted or spirit children or will I actually bear them? This is my fear that I will not be able to ever bear children that I will be limited to adoption and spirit children. Sounds like second best to me.