How do I ask non member relatives for permission to do temple work?
Question
Gramps,
How do I ask my very staunch Catholic, born again Baptists, and non believer relatives for permission to do temple work? Can I take cousin Billy’s name to the temple? Can I baptize your dead dad to be a Mormon? Your family needs to be sealed and I’ll do it? Without these ordinances Aunt Ruth will not go to heaven? Most members just do it without asking, but that permission box requires honestly. My bishop and temple president couldn’t offer suggestions. Any ideas on how to ask permission?
Gail
Answer
Gail,
How about, “Can I do Aunt Ruth’s temple work?” When they ask what that is, tell them it is baptism and some other similar covenants. If needed, you can assure them that you’re not “making” Aunt Ruth a Mormon, but merely providing her with the option of accepting something if she wants it. They may say no. If so, then Aunt Ruth will just have to wait. But they may say yes, in which case you’re golden.
Some of the things you say seem to indicate misapprehensions (or cynicism) on your part. I would urge you to rethink those aspects. Also, in my experience, it is untrue that “most members just do [temple ordinances] without asking [permission of the next-of-kin].” But in any case, I think you are right to be honest in this and procure such permission before doing the ordinances.
Gramps
It’s also erroneous to say that a deceased non-member won’t get into Heaven without the temple ordinances. They won’t get into the Celestial Kingdom, but that’s not the same as being denied entry into Heaven altogether. If people are telling non-members that their dead ancestors will be barred from Heaven without temple ordinances, it’s not wonder so many non-Mormons have such a dim view of our faith!
What about, “Would it be okay if I honored your dad in a small service in our temple?”
It’s honest for their level of understanding. It doesn’t get into doctrine or ordinances that they don’t understand, or have been ignorantly biased against.
I was searching for an answer to this very question and found Robert’s answer just perfect. I wanted to ask my mother’s cousin if I could do the temple work for her father (my grandmother’s brother), but we never knew each other existed before today. I’m pretty sure she’s a devout Catholic, but how could someone turn down a benign request such as this? Thanks Robert!
Online Family search temple requests will prompt for relevant information about closest family member, if the 110 year rule applies, Salt Lake should approve the baptism request for a non-member. All by the book. Honesty is the best policy. This question came up at our FHC.
What about, “Is it ok if I add your Dad to our eternal family tree?”
I want to add a suggestion here. I actually found this on FamilySearch buried deep in their ideas section.Here is the link to it: https://familysearch.org/ask/salesforce/viewArticle?id=kA230000000PNW5CAO&lang=en
I like this, it’s one of the best suggestions I’ve heard:
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am seeking your permission to submit (insert person’s name) ‘s name to the temple. In the temple, we perform sacred ordinances for our loved ones who have passed away. It would be my gift to (him or her) , and I would be honored. I will respect whatever you say and will hold no hard feelings if you decline.