Can I receive personal revelation while suffering from severe depression?
Question
Gramps,
Hi, for the past year, I have had many instances of very uncommon personal revelation for my age (16). I suffered terrible depression, so much so that I became suicidal. I believe this was Satan trying to destroy me from hearing God’s message. Now I know this is very, very rare, but hear me out: Through out my depression, I received multiple very clear revelations defining my life. I have been told what career path I need to take, and I even who am specificaly supposed to marry, is this normal?
Austin
Answer
Dear Austin,
I’m very sorry to hear about your depression and suicidal ideation. I would caution you not to write it off as Satan’s influence. Elder Holland recently gave a talk about depression called, A Broken Vessel. It’s a wonderful talk, and I recommend you read the whole thing. For now, I would like to highlight two portions of his advice to those who struggle with depression.
First, he said,
“Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings.”
You asked me about your personal revelation, but I can’t give you an answer about that except to say talk it over with your Bishop and get a blessing. I think that is the best way to find the answers you seek.
Second, Elder Holland counseled:
“If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.”
Talk to your Bishop about seeing a therapist. A therapist would be another great resource to help you sort out all you are dealing with.
I’ll close with one more quote by Elder Holland :
“Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”
I pray those happier days come quickly for you,
Gramps
Receiving revelation in the midst of depression is very possible and does happen. That being said, please do not write off mental illness as purely being Satan’s influence – mental illness has multiple genetic causes and other factors that contribute to it, and “oh it’s only the Devil” trivializes the reality of what mentally ill people deal with.
Oh wow … that is a horrible thing to have to deal with….I recall listening to Sister Riddle, wife of honors and philosophy professor Dr Chauncey Riddle at BYU describe the devastating depression she experienced for years after childbirth….so this post partum depression stayed and she could hardly function….she sought out medical help and help from Counselors and then she received a priesthood blessing every day so she could function at all….then one day it lifted and didn’t return…..she is the most amazing person I have met…when she comes into a room you know she is there because she is so spiritually strong after that struggle…..I don’t know if she is still living, but that is one person I would want to talk to if I were you….Depression is a physical illness that effects your neuro chemisty….If you are feeling the Lord’s Spirit and that special peace and not a manic euphoria and the inspiration follows doctrine, I’d follow it…..its manic states in bipolar disorder that really make it hard to distinguish between those feelings from the Lords Spirit and chemicals gone awry…..I would ask your Bishop to help you confirm those feelings…..He can tell you when he and you together feel that feeling….when my Dad was my Bishop and I wondered if I had it right, he sat me in his office as my Bishop and not my Dad and we fasted and prayed together and I had a Spiritual experience in his office as we prayed together and he stopped and told me the feeling we were feeling was the Lord’s Spirit confirming the answer I had made a decision on.