How do I get a temple recommend if I can’t afford to pay tithing?
Dear Gramps,
My Bishop told me that I cannot get a Temple recommend because I cannot tithe. I am a single parent of three children and work very hard to support my family. We live from paycheck to paycheck. I don’t understand why I cannot get my recommend.
Respectfully,
Kathleen, from South Dakota
Dear Kathleen,
It really doesn’t take money to pay tithing; it takes faith. The Lord himself has made a promise to those who pay their tithing–
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it (Malachi 3:10).
Do you think that the Lord would ever make a promise and not fulfil it? Have you ever thought that perhaps the reason that you are struggling so much is because you don’t pay your tithing? If you are keeping all the commandments and attending your meetings regularly, including the payment of tithing, I’m sure that the bishop of your Ward would see to it that you and your family would not go without the necessities of life. This is only one of the avenues through which the Lord fulfills his promise to the faithful.
My recommendation would be that you sit down with your bishop, and lay before him all your financial matters-income, expenses, debts and savings-tell him that you intend to pay a full tithing from now on out, and ask for his recommendation on how you should handle your finances with a 10% decrease in your gross income. The Lord will bless you for exercising sufficient faith in him to be obedient to the laws of the gospel, especially when it represents a significant sacrifice on your part.
Gramps
When my family joined the church, my mom was a single parent with three children (ages 9-15) and we couldn’t “afford” to pay tithing. She tried, but told the bishop it was literally an issue of feeding her children or paying tithing.
The loving bishop sent over his first councilor, a financial adviser, to help us find some ways to spend less money, so we could afford to pay tithing. In a council with him, we went over the family income and expenses. His comment was that he had lots of ideas for us, but we were already doing all of them, plus some additional ones that he hadn’t thought of.
My mom asked, what should we do about tithing? He answered that he didn’t know what to say, other than to pay whatever she could after the other expenses.
My mom then discussed this with the bishop, and reported back to the family that the wise and loving bishop said, “No, you pay your tithing first. If there isn’t enough money for food, you come to me, and I will make sure your family is well fed.”
My mom had the faith to pay tithing. And we never went hungry. I think there were a few times that we got food from the Bishop’s storehouse. One time we got a few gallons of boysenberry syrup left over from a ward breakfast. My brother and I went hog-wild with it until we both got so sick of it we still can’t eat anything with boysenberry flavor to this day. It is actually a fond memory of my childhood.
I also remember that when the bishopric changed, shortly afterward, we got an assignment to take the donation envelopes, white out the old bishop’s name and address, and write in the new info (an effort which I assume helped us pay back some of the food we had received). It actually helped bring us together for some pretty good family time and conversation.
“If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” John 7:17.
Put the law of tithing to the test. Pay your tithing first, whenever you receive income. Then see if the Lord doesn’t provide all else that you need (even if it is via the bishop’s storehouse). Tithing should not be something that prevents you from getting a temple recommend if you really want one.
I have been through this already when I had to raise my children alone. Pay your tithing on your income and then ask the bishop for help if you honestly need it. Do not work extra jobs so you can pay tithing. Your kids need you to be their parent and attend to their needs, and they are your primary responsibility. Some people are blessed with new jobs and extra income when they tithe but others are not. Insisting that God will bless them materially for paying tithing is misleading and sometimes downright cruel as it makes those who do not receive material blessings doubt their worth in the sight of God and judgmental members might question their worthiness for blessings. The Church was put here to help us and lift us up, not to take away what little we have.