How does the Mormon Church view victims of rape, incest, and sexual abuse?
Question
Dear Gramps,
I have been a member of the Mormon Church for going on thirty years now and have been YW President and on the Relief Society board and have never come across the question my grandson asked me the other day.
He attends Seminary in the mornings before school and this is his first real year attending. They were discussing something related to sexual crimes and one of the young sisters asked the Seminary instructor what happens to those who become rape “victims.” She was told that anyone who is raped is held accountable and guilty until they ask for forgiveness. My grandson’s and my own question to this is: where is it written or decreed that the victim has to assume the guilt and accountability for this? I know someone who was raped by her father and she has been excommunicated because she doesn’t understand why she has to repent for this crime that she didn’t ask for or provoke.
What is the ruling on this, and where do I find this information? These girls and my grandson are devastated and their faith is being shaken. I, myself, can’t believe that the loving Heavenly Father that I grew to love and trust would judge in this manner. Please help us. Thank you.
Barbara
Answer
Dear Barbara,
I have been a bishop and a stake president, and I have never heard of such a disposition. One of the severe problems of rape victims is that they feel that they are somehow guilty for having provoked the attack. It is a very difficult thing to get over and frequently requires professional counseling.
Concerning those who were censured because of their involvement in rape situations, it would be necessary to know the whole story. Church disciplinary councils are confidential, and there may be much more to any given situation than may be told by one of the participants.
I think it would be a good idea to contact your bishop and advise him of the kind of instruction that your grandson is receiving in seminary. He could also advise you of the Church’s position in the case of victims of abuse.
Gramps
Anyone who’s been the victim of such terrible crimes is INNOCENT of any wrongdoing. It is the person who committed the assault who has sinned. The victim is still innocent and PURE in the eyes of God, and they absolutely deserve our respect, understanding, and compassion. Our society is very twisted if anyone thinks the victim “asked for it,” and I personally would be glad to teach such an unkind person a lesson they would never forget. It is time the doer of the crime was held entirely accountable and NOT his victim.
I would be speaking to the stake about that seminary teacher! That is inappropriate!
I had a seminary teacher who said “I would rather see you die than to lose your virginity.” I am a survivor or sexual abuse from a friends of friends. It happened just after I was baptized so I saw myself as “accountable.” I did not even know the “facts” of life and was not physically mature. I was outnumbered and my abusers were bigger than me so I did not fight. My seminary teacher talked about morality and this was very difficult for me to hear. Ten years later I had the opportunity to do baptisms for the dead but I turned it down because I considered myself unworthy because of the event. Eventually I discussed it with a bishop who told me he was sure the Lord had forgiven me and not to dwell on it. I wonder how many others in my seminary class have had secret experiences like this.
Blaming rape victims is the kind of sick crap they believe in the hog wallows in the middle east.
It should stay there