What is the Lord’s and the Church’s view on suicide?
Question
Gramps,
Over the last several of years I have had a few friends take, what they think is, the easy way out. This is devastating for all those left behind. A few have them are members, some not. Most of them I served with in the military and had a great deal of pain and anguish from deployments. Mental and physical wounds were severe. While others are just cursed with a mind that has turned against them in one form or another. I too suffer. What are the Lord’s and the Church’s views on suicide?
Bradley
Answer
Bradley,
I’m sorry that you have lost friends to suicide. Yes, it is devastating for those left behind, enough so to cause PTSD in some. I have also heard of loved ones of people who commit suicide taking their own lives. It’s always hard to lose a loved one to death, but even more tragic when the cause is suicide.
I would caution you though not to judge that they were taking what they saw as “the easy way out”. Unless we have been suicidal we can’t know what that feels like, and even if we have–each person is different. The church leaders have said: Although it is wrong to take one’s own life, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her acts. Only God can judge such a matter.
I have spoken with a few people who have been suicidal, and a few who have attempted suicide. A common theme that arises is the irrationality of their thinking processes during those moments. I truly do not think most people who come to that point are in a rational state of mind, and this may be why our leaders have said they “may not be responsible”.
You mentioned that you suffer as well. I hope that you have loving and understanding family members, friends and a supportive Bishop. If thoughts of suicide come to your mind, please talk to someone right away. The National Suicide Hotline phone number is 1-800-273-8255.
Another common theme I find in talking to people that have contemplated suicide is that things do get better and they are all grateful they didn’t follow through on those thoughts. Through Jesus Christ there is always hope, even when we can’t see any way things could improve. Keep your hope in Christ, Bradley. I am sorry for your pain.
Gramps
I actually attempted suicide 2 times while under 21. Each time it was pills and each time it was the only solution namely because I didn’t know there was a way out that didn’t involve the final act. One thinks they don’t have a support system and the con is that the adversary is busily whispering that no one loves or cares, not even Heavenly Father; the lie is, if Heavenly Father loved us and cared for us, he’d save us. It’s a lie because we know our father in heaven loves and very much cares for us but, it’s our free agency. He cannot involve himself unless we ask and then, it’s his will to help or not.
I have severe reoccurring depression along with Bipolar disorder. During each Fast I wouldn’t stop at 24 hours, often going without food for as long as 2 weeks. I had gone 2 weeks when a member dropped in to say hi and found me. This concerned sister had a talk with the Bishop who then contacted me and the Relief Society President. They thought I had no food and wanted to help me.
Once asymptomatic, I alerted my Bishop, my Home and Visiting teachers what was happening to me during the missed Sacrament Meetings. Now, not a day goes by without a brother or sister contacting me to see how I’m doing. The Bishop has strongly counseled me against Fasting food wise because I don’t stop at just 24 hours.
I am medication and I take it every day, if I do not, I’ll relapse; it’s not to say medication is perfect, it’s not, but if you go to your doctor’s appointments and you’re honest with the doctor, if you go to crisis centers designed to deal with suicidal thoughts, you’ll receive more help than you knew existed.
It’s up to us to set up people who’ll check on us. One of the sisters in my Ward whom I trust has a set of my keys and she’s informed that if the Relief Society president (who is my payee) or my Visiting teacher hasn’t heard from me, she’s got permission to check on me; even entering my apartment if I don’t answer the phone or the door.
May Heavenly Father bless you with the ability to seek help when you get suicidal thoughts in your head. Best wishes for you and your treatment and recovery.
God knows the thoughts and the intimate feelings of our hearts. Yet sometimes it can be difficult to feel of God’s love or concern for you as an individual if you have suffered through something devastating like abuse or warfare or just have depression or another mental illness in some form or another. But hold on. hold on. God is still there.
His love for you or your friends will never diminish even if you can’t feel that love right now. Keep him in your thoughts. Allow yourself time… even a day. Watch a sunset. Listen to some hymns. Watch uplifting church videos.
Fill your life with moments where you can connect with God and his spirit. Sometimes breaking the negative spiral and chain of thoughts is really hard but push yourself to do some good things that allow you to feel close to God. walk around the temple. Go to that place if you are able. Allow God to lift you up. I’ve been there. I have felt a load of pressure and sadness through my experiences that seems like no one else hears you or understands the depth of your pain. But I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and redeemer. He has felt all of the things which you are feeling. He has paid the price. And he is merciful. I know he lives and with his help a person can overcome all things. even if not in this life. eventually we can be joint heirs with Jesus Christ. I don’t think suicide is ever the answer but those who end up choosing to do so shouldn’t be thought of in a harsh light. Only God knows the extent of their sufferings and pain and will eventually make all things right. I hope you can find peace Bradley.
The best article I have ever seen addressing this topic is one by Elder M. Russell Ballard entitled “Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not”. My brother took his own life in 1986. It continues to have repercussions for me to this day. A friend recently printed Elder Ballard’s article on this subject for me. I keep it with me. It is very uplifting and offers great hope to those who have lost a loved one to suicide. The article can be found by searching the title of it, given above. This will take you to lds.org where the article can be found in its entirety.
Bradley,
Please listen to the loving, wise & compassionate counsel of Gramps; he, truly, does care about you. And, things really will get better in time.
Asking for help like you did with Gramps is a good step. Suicide is a permanent action to a temporary situation.
In 1997, a sweet, talented, lovely Sister from church who I had, somewhat, known in college in the 1970’s committed suicide in a violent manner. Although I only casually knew her, I took her death very hard, so, I can imagine how devastated her family & close friends were.
Like Gramps & others have expressed, a suicidal person is not thinking logically, otherwise, they would not be contemplating their demise. Apparently, this Sister had been acting irrationally for some time & doing unsafe things. When her mother passed away, it may have caused her drastic reaction. I think all of us, still,wonder what we could have done to have helped her & prevented that tragedy.
When my daughters were in junior high school, one of their classmates committed suicide. It impacted the entire community.
Please know that you are cared about & loved. Continue to get help & before you know it life will seem worth living.
Thank You for your military service. I appreciate the freedoms I enjoy daily & know it comes at a great price from people like you. May God watch over you & pour His blessings out upon you, always.
Mike Baus,
We have had a personal experience with this, losing our only child to suicide. We were of another faith at the time, one that taught that you were condemned to Hell if you took your own life. To say that we had some rough times would be the understatement of the century. I do not hate anyone, but I would not wish this experience on even the most evil person in this world.
We joined the Church about 6 years later, and I personally did the temple work for him. We now know that we will be together again, and it has given us much comfort.
If anyone out there is contemplating suicide, I have just one word of advice for you….DON’T! ….Our 23-year-old son did not even leave a note, but there are no problems in life that cannot be handled with the help of our Savior. I was told by a professional that “normal” people realize that the problems will go away, but the suicidal think only that they will come back again. My family will be better off if I’m dead!….NO! Not true!
About a year after his death (again, not a member), I contemplated it myself. I figured that if he could do it, so could I I was tired of the pain! BUT, I knew I could not do that to my wife. She had lost so much already. Thankfully I didn’t, even though I continued to deeply mourn for many years. The pain does not go away, but scar tissue forms over your broken heart, and you endure.
Again, anyone thinking of taking your own life, get professional help. Depression is a REAL illness that can be helped by medical and spiritual professionals.
This is bradley. Oh my. I cried reading all of these thoughts. I have thought of suicide for 15 years now. Tried twice. Your thoughts and concerns are truly uplifting, thank you. I have felt more hope in reading these than I have in months. I am glad I wrote to gramps on this. He is truly inspired, just as I feel all your inspiration. For today I have hope because of you all. For Christ sent you to help me. Thank you.
Bradley I am so glad that you were able to find some hope in this. I definitely wish you the best.