How do I resolve the conflict within myself regarding the Sabbath Day?
Question
Gramps,
Our granddaughter’s birthday is on the same Sunday as the upcoming General Conference. I am uncomfortable for a few reasons in going to the party.
- It is on the Sabbath Day
- It is General Conference
- The party is at an amusement environment
My husband does not want to cause any problems in the family by not going. I am struggling on what to do. I know in my heart that Our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ comes first. I would like to hear your point of view giving up the Sabbath.
Louann
Answer
Louann,
The commandment from the Lord in this matter is to keep the Sabbath day holy. Generally speaking it can be very hard for us to do this. To help us we sometimes come up with lists of ‘things’ that we should or should not do. We hope that if we do everything on the to-do list and avoid everything on the don’t-do list we have kept the Sabbath day holy. It is a good start, but keeping the Sabbath day holy is much more then just checking off a list.
In Christ’s lifetime, He was accused of dining with publicans and sinners. This accusation came about, because the Hebrews had put so many other restrictions around the commandments so that they could have their ‘lists’ and claim to be ‘holy.’ But Christ was the real thing. He was holy. And He was about his Father’s business among those who needed it most, thus those ‘lists’ did not matter in the least.
I can’t give you an answer because it entirely depends on you. Keeping peace among the family is also extremely important as well. Can you keep focused on keeping the Sabbath day holy while you are within an amusement environment for your granddaughter’s birthday? Only you can answer that question. I would encourage you to pray and ask God if his purposes would be better served by your attendance or your absence from the party.
Gramps
It depends on the age of the granddaughter. If she’s a teenager, skip the party and let her know why. If she’s just a little girl, record conference to watch later and attend the party. But ask the parents why they can’t have the party on Saturday instead (of course, you’d have to record conference to watch later then, too). Either way, remember that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
Good answer, Gramps, in my opinion. When I was a teenage convert to the Church – – and the only LDS member in my family – my folks wanted to sometimes take the family out to dinner on a Sunday (after I had attended Church) and I was torn. I went to my Bishop and asked him what I should do. He said that while it is important to sanctify the Sabbath, sometimes promoting love within one’s family through compromise actually goes a lot further to accomplish this than by making a big deal out of what sinners the rest of them were. I appreciated that advice and, now, looking back after over 40 years of the results, I think that was the best course. Most of the rest of the family eventually joined the Church and became pretty good Sabbath-abiders themselves. I may not have a perfect record, but overall it produced the best results. I have to admit that sometimes my biggest concern was not what the Lord would think, but what would other LDS people think if they saw me out on a Sunday. It’s not always easy to put what is really right over our own self-righteous pride, but I think that ultimately that is what we need to consider when we are making the decision.
Alway a tough one, makes me think of Eli Herring and Brent Jones, both Mormon Athletes, one chose to go pro and play on sundays, the other decided to not magnify the talents he was blessed with but keep the Sabbath, the one who played got to share his moving testimony about his mission with millions, the other is frequently referenced in church as an example of keeping the sabbath holy. I think that ask gramps is right, there is no black or white answer, only an individual one, The Lord blesses families, and if not all of our family is LDS then there can be schedule issues like this, to me the best thing is pray and decide, will attending the party and keeping peace in the family mean more than the potential harm of nt going, if you pray and are open to the spirit you will not be led astary either way. Good luck.
If your granddaughter has parents who are not members of the church or inactive, I would not make a big deal about it, I would attend the party. The Lord is merciful and very understanding, he knows your heart. Perhaps at a later time in a most appropriate moment, you can discuss the situation with your child and explain that you made an exception out of love. Then ask nicely that perhaps in the future could you please do your best to not place me in a position of compromising my standards if at all possible. Your goal should be to love your children into the gospel and this may be an opportunity to begin that process.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself “why.” What is your justification for “breaking” the Sabbath? Keeping the Sabbath day holy is a commandment of God and we have a duty to keep it holy. We have agency to choose what we do with this day, but we don’t get to determine the consequence. Even though we hear that often, how often do we apply this knowledge? Is your justification something that outweighs God’s commandments? Food for thought.
As members of the church it’s our responsibility to help those who are not active become active. If we can’t find ways to keep our own in the church, how do you expect us to bring others in! And I speak from total experience. While the Lord does not look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, he is also merciful, and he understands our human condition. There is a big difference between intentionally and constantly breaking the Sabbath Day, versus fellowshipping your family back into the church. The Lord said and I’m taking liberty here, if your ox in stuck in the mud on the sabbath, are you going to let him die or pull him out. In this case, Louann is going to pull him out and not alienate her family…the Lord fully gets this.
I am in this situation right now, my first daughter will be having her birthday on Oct and it falls on a sunday..We planned to hold the celebration on saturday, but to our dismay all saturdays for october are already fully booked, and there is no other venue available, though it’s only July! We considered doing it on a friday, however my family will not be able to attend (My husband and I live far from my family). We are all LDS, so this is quite difficult for all of us. We finally decided to push through 19..Can any of you please help me plan an appropriate program? It’s bad enough that it’s on a sabbath, but we also want to give a birthday party to my daughter, since both of us didn’t experience it when we were babies (lack of sufficient funds). We still want to be reverent. Thank you.
Hi again! I’m so glad we found the solution, we’ll be having her birthday celebration as a family home evening, and it’ll be a teaching opportunity for us as well, since we also have non LDS friends attending the party.. Thank you!