Can we be temple worthy if having suicidal thoughts?
Question
Gramps,
It’s been a difficult year with depression and thoughts of suicide. Recently, after confiding in my brother in law, he told me that I am not worthy to enter the temple or have a recommend. What have the General Authorities said about temple worthiness when one is having suicidal thoughts? Am I truly unworthy?
Jeremiah
Answer
Dear Jeremiah,
I am very sorry to hear that you have been struggling with depression and suicidal ideation. Someone close to me as experienced that and it is very difficult. Jeremiah, I want you to know that your brother in law was dead wrong. Depression and sucidal thoughts are not a reflection of your worthiness. I suppose some people mistakenly believe that because the scriptures do talk about sin bringing unhappiness. However, there are many other causes of sadness and depression that are unrelated to worthiness.
Did you know that President George Albert Smith suffered with depression? During the time he was an apostle, there was a period from 1909-1912 when he could not do the work to which the Lord had called him. He was in bed much of that time with what we would call today a severe case of depression. He later recovered and went on to become the Prophet and President of the church. Clearly his depression was not a worthiness issue. (For more information there is a link below.) Elder Holland once mentioned this and said, ”
. . . Elder George Albert Smith . . . being one of the most gentle and Christlike men of our dispensation, who battled recurring depression for some years before later becoming the universally beloved eighth prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”
When one is depressed, it is so important to have hope to hold on to. For that reason, I encourage you to attend the temple and feel the love that Father has for you. Unless your brother in law is your Bishop, he has no right or stewardship to tell you that you are not worthy to attend the temple or have a recommend. I encourage you to talk to your Bishop. When you sit down with your Bishop in his office, he is acting in the place of the Savior. I have felt the Spirit testify of that to me more than once (with different bishops.) So I encourage you to sit down with him, and allow him to reassure you of God’s love and that depression does NOT make you unworthy. I also strongly encourage you to see professional help. Elder Holland also recommends this. In his talk, Like a Broken Vessel, he said,
“If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.”
There is much wonderful counsel and comfort in this talk, Like a Broken Vessel, I encourage you to read the whole talk (link below.) Remember Jeremiah, that depression lies. It tells you that you will always feel the pain you have now, but that is not true. Feelings are like waves, they come and they go. Some depression lasts for a long time, but eventually it gives way to better days. Of this Elder Holland said, “Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”
I’ll close with this video, that a good friend who has suffered from depression told me brought a great deal of comfort to her:
Gramps
Holland, Jeffrey R., “Like a Broken Vessel.” LDS General Conference October 2013.
Woodger, Mary Jane. “’Cheat the Assylum of a Victim’: George Albert Smith’s 1909-12 Breakdown.” Journal of Mormon History, edited by Anderson, Lavina, Mormon History Association, 2008, pp.113-152
I too have delt with depression etc most my life due those around me making me feel less but lucky had a few who help me get thru I was still worthy of Temple and I believe it helps to go as the matter is what God think of me not what others think
I learned over time to use my experience to help others with like problems as old quote says when help others u help yourself.
Temple best place to be at peace
All who belittle those with depression are actually adding to it. Stop and be a friend
Having struggled with depression — and yes, at times
wondering if suicide wasn’t the answer to gain relief from the pain that
wracked my mind and body — I can absolutely say that your brother-in-law is up
in the night without the benefit of a flash light.
Even if he is “a” Bishop, unless he is “your” Bishop,
please disregard what he has said and do not converse any more with him about
your struggles. If he wants to talk to you about it, tell him you have
decided that is not in your best interest to converse with him and stick to
that decision. Please find someone else to talk to — preferably someone
with training.
Depression is best treated when you hit from every angle that you can.
Diet, exercise, medication and maybe some talk therapy can all help you.
But what you don’t need is advice from anyone who is not trained or lacks
empathy.
Sin can cause despair, but not all despair comes from sin. Please try to
remember that our Savior is always there and willing to carry our burdens with
us. The trouble with a depressed person, the ability to “feel”
the Savior’s love often grows faint.
I now recognize that I had my first bout of depression when I was about
nine. There were life events that triggered that episode. And every
bout since then has also had a trigger. There are things I can do to make
it better, but I sometimes need more than remembering to “read my scriptures,
say my prayers and attend my meetings.”
If you broke your leg, nobody would expect you to walk on it. But when your serotonin levels are messed up
or other physical conditions mess with how your brain works, many expect you to
pretend all is well.
I will pray for you as I pray daily for myself and others who carry this heavy
burden.
I had suicidal thoughts at one time in my life and I believe going to the temple might have saved me from going through with it.
Temptations and Thoughts do not inherently make us unworthy. Our actions do. We must be mindful of our thoughts because they lead to actions. But the very idea that we have sinned because we have been tempted is foolishness. Jesus himself was tempted as as documented in the Bible. The question is not whether we have negative thoughts or even severe Temptations, the question is what do we do with those things. If we choose to act on Temptations we enter the realm of sin. We are advised to control our thoughts and be careful what media will allow into our mind, but our thoughts alone do not make us criminals.