Why does interest fade so quickly towards new members?
Question
Gramps,
I have been a member for over a year now. I liked the moments leading to my baptism and a few months after that. I could feel people genuinely interested in my family. I was wondering why does interest fade so quickly ? Why do they not call us any more? What can a new member do here? Also,sometimes I feel like going inactive because of it. Please help. Thanks,
Arsene
Answer
Dear Arsene,
I’m sorry you are feeling hurt by this. I believe that the members of your ward do still care about you. If you had a serious illness in your family, they would rally around you once again. Things that are out of the ordinary (like someone who is new or someone who is ill) tend to capture peoples attention.
It is now your turn to look for someone who needs your help; a new member, a less-active member, someone who is hurting (physically or emotionally). You have been shown love and attention, now it is your turn to “pay it forward.”
Remember Arsene, people are human, and that means they make mistakes. Sometimes they will let you down. But the Lord will not let you down. He will never get distracted and forget about you. He is always there watching over you, ready to listen and respond to your needs and prayers. He is the one you should lean on. He is the reason for you to attend church. He wants you to feed His sheep. Keep your focus on Him, and the actions (or inactions) of your fellow ward members will be less painful to you.
Gramps
People are human and we all make mistakes. What are we to do then? Make the bond that never breaks!
Trust the bond that never breaks…
There are probably as many different reasons why people in your ward are not close to you as there are people in the ward. How do you interact with them? Do you ask a lot of questions about the church that you were unaware of in the beginning? Do you speak up during the meetings and classes that you attend? Do you participate in picnics and pot lucks, or whatever your ward might do? My wife and I are converts from 1999 and we were young seniors. We were visited by excellent missionaries and an excellent ward missionary leader who gave us our wonderful first lessons prior to our baptism. Then after joining, we asked questions which initiated contact with many people in the ward from the classes we attended. We showed a strong interest in the church and very deeply did not want it to fade from us. As I recall, about three months after we joined, our Bishop called us in and asked us if we would take a calling as genealogy consultants. That locked us in to staying, even though we never thought of leaving. We had spoken with many in our ward about our genealogy progress which had been going on for many years before we joined. That lit the spark that peaked the interest of our Bishop. Several members of the ward would sit with us at different times, and guided us through what was happening. Same when we went to the temple for the first time. We watched as many more converted and joined our ward and within 3-6 months, disappeared. We believe strongly that had ward members paid more attention to them, some would have stayed. We believe that many paid special attention to us because we were genuinely interested in not only our membership and how the church worked, but how it affects our lives from that time and into eternity. We have served many callings since, including serving as missionaries at the LDS Employment Services Center, but we feel especially strengthened by those who know us, even if not on a close friendship basis. Many converts sit quietly in the back of the chapel and disappear when Amen is said. Do not sit in the back (unless there are no seats in front) so that you will be more visible and you can hear the speakers better. Greet everyone, even if you know them. You will notice many cliques, but ignore that and try and blend in. We did, and it worked. The Lord loves you and wants you to stay and participate.
I went inactive for the situation you shared. When I returned again many years later I was determined to not take offense from others because I would only be hurting myself by leaving again. I’m a VERY shy person and a single member, and it wasn’t easy to make small talk with people, but I kept trying. Some people who seemed stern and cold were actually the most loving people, so different from my first impression. Just remember it’s not a popularity contest in Church. Love like Jesus. If you still end up sitting alone, that’s okay! Remember what Jesus went through and how He still continued to love and to forgive. Hang in there! It truly is so worth it!
We could give you a dozen of reasons why this happens. One thing we know for sure is, Satan does not want you to be active in the church…why. Because your membership could be the catalyst for 1000s of souls to be saved by virtue of temple work and your influence on your living relatives and friends. We are all converts to the church regardless if you were born in it or not. I have always said if we can’t keep our own in the church then how can we expect to bring in new members…So I recognize the importance of this issue and you can be the one to champion that effort in your ward and it will bring you joy and happiness. The ward will feel your love and example. The ward will embrace your sincere willingness to serve others and keep active members active. You can do this!